jasonssmith
Apr 21, 2017

Hi Ladies!

0 comments

Edited: Apr 28, 2017

School life isn't just about the kids and their education.

 

There's also a social minefield for Dads to carefully navigate around the school gates and beyond.

 

It can be pretty daunting.

 

As a dad you're highly likely to be outnumbered by mums who all seem to know one another intimately. It's natural to be a bit awkward, hang back and limit interaction to a quick smile or "hello".

 

And then there's the class groups, normally run through email and/or WhatsApp.

 

Like it or not you have to get yourself on these lists, otherwise you risk missing all the reminders about school events, equipment requirements and teachers birthdays.

 

But what do you do when the group posts an invite to a social event?

 

These invitations normally begin with "Hi Ladies!", and follow with "coffee at Deb's this Friday, straight after drop off" (or something similar).

 

Now there's a number of ways we dads can react.

 

We can take the "Hi Ladies" as an indication we're not invited. We can see it as more evidence of the emasculating view society places on 'daddy day carers'. We can feel guilty we're not out there winning the bread for the family.

 

Or we can just get on with it and go along.

 

This is what I eventually decided to do and, to my surprise, I found myself being welcomed into the 'club'.

 

As a result I've developed a network of friends that has brought many benefits.

 

Holiday play dates are much easier to organise, I can get help if my son has forgotten to bring his homework back, we can share runs to various after school activities and we can support and help one another when life presents difficulty.

 

So I encourage dads not to hang back, but to get involved. Drink the coffee and joke about the 'Hi Ladies' invitation. And make some friends.

 

Biut DO NOT apply the same approach to 'Girls Nights'. Those are strictly for the mums!

 

Do you have experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below...

 

 

New Posts
  • jasonssmith
    Sep 5, 2018

    After a fantastic long and hot English summer, the morning to go back to school has finally arrived. For almost 10 weeks James and I have adventured at theme parks, museums, palaces, zoos and parks. We've visited beaches, towns, cities and the countryside. It's been a blast and I'm going to miss his company during the school day. Today James started Year 5 and this is the point where things start to get a bit more serious as the school and I start preparing him for his 11+ examinations in Year 6. Normally during the summer holidays we have a complete break from school work, but this time I was keen to keep James' mind active by undertaking one hour of Maths, English and/ or reading every day. Of course this was met with some dismay and plenty of procrastination at first, but once the routine was established, he ploughed through it. I'm proud of the way he worked, often going beyond the prescribed one hour period and doing more than required. Will it make a difference? I hope so. But if nothing else, it's established the habit of working outside of the classroom and under his own steam. And that can only be a good thing.
  • jasonssmith
    Feb 8, 2018

    I can't believe it's half term already and my son is now half way through Year 4. It only seems like yesterday that I was taking him for his first day of middle school after the long summer break. Time goes by so fast, maybe too fast, but that only makes me realise how important it is to appreciate time and savour all the little moments that occur. I'm so grateful for the life I am now able to lead. Especially having missed all of my son's early school years due to a busy job which involved lots of travel. I am privelleged to be able to see my son grow. Not just physically but mentally and personally. It's wonderful to see him and his friends gaining confidence, learning new skills (including contact rugby!) and developing their characters. And it's wonderful to be there for him in his moments of success and failure to celebrate or suppport him during these formative years. Sometimes I'm asked if I'll go back into the workplace in the form of a full time job. Maybe one day, but for now this is the most important job I can think of. Last Rugby Match of the Season. It's great to be able to get to matches and support my son and his friends .
  • jasonssmith
    Sep 25, 2017

    We're now well and truly in to the new school year, so much so that Half Term is already fast approaching. Where does the time go? On that theme my son made the transition from lower to middle school this year and with that comes some pretty significant changes. Longer Maths and English lessons, more languages to learn, new subjects such as history and geography but, most impactful, longer school days and more homework. Gone are the days when I would be at the school gates for 3.30 in the afternoon. Now it's typically 5.30 before I scoop him up. Part of the reason is his (and my) enthusiasm for after school clubs. These are held at and provided by the school. So, on Monday it's Debating and Current Affairs, Tuesday it's Football Training followed by Swimming lessons, Chess Club is on Wednesday, followed by club Football Training and on Friday it's Drama. The only day he doesn't have an extended day is Thursday, but then he has Tennis Lessons. And when we finally get home it's supper and homework. With the amount of homework doubling from 20 minutes to 40 minutes per night it doesn't leave time for much else. But I do think it's important to have some 'playtime' before bed, so we'll have a mini football match or some other game that gets us both laughing. Sometimes I worry that we're doing too much, but then he seems happy and if I ask him if he wants to drop any clubs or activies he always gives a resounding "NO!" Let me know what you think and what you do in the comments.